Tuesday, February 3, 2015

It's been waiting for me

I have an announcement. The picture is pretty self-explanatory, but I feel like I should elaborate. You see, sometimes you try so many times to achieve something, or to get somewhere, per se, that you reach a point where you begin to think there won't be a positive outcome. You start thinking you won't be so lucky; you'll never stand out enough, you're not experienced enough, it's out of your league, and so on. Well, I have a story. I've had the "unrealistic" dream of being a fashion designer since 2013 when I first made a floor length gown, but I've been keeping an unofficial little fashion sketchbook in 2011. Along the way, a lot of the important people in my life have told me I'm not determined, resilient, or tough enough for such a career. Regardless, In 2013 and 2014, I tried every time to get into the Teen Vogue Fashion University, a weekend long program. It always took a lot of work and a lot of time on my part, but I never did get in. So when last autumn came around, I signed up for a nursing major at UVU instead because I thought perhaps all the naysayers were right and I needed a more sensible career option. But it didn't take me long for me to see my mistake.

Last week, however, I got an email advertising the Fashion U again. I decided I wouldn't apply, but I kept the tab open anyway. Then it was the middle of the night and I knew I had an essay I needed to finish for class, but all I could think of was the Teen Vogue Fashion U and what I wish I was actually doing with my life. So I wrote my little essays, then and there. I edited some more recent photoshoot pictures immediately after. I scanned in some sketches in my tired state and by one in the morning the entire thing was done and submitted and I went on to finish my school essay just before class. It was all so last minute. I did it to soothe my mind, to ensure that I wouldn't regret not having at least tried. I mean I wrote all my things and edited all m picures so ahead of time the other years, why would I even begin to think that something would happen this time?

Except, I was wrong. Friday night came around and I was checking my email, and there it was...  an email from the kind folks at Teen Vogue. Not a newsletter, email, mind you. One that started with CONGRATULATIONS in the subject line and I screamed. I trembled violently, and I frantically texted my closest friends, called my mom and my sister and the whole word spun quicker. At least, it felt like it.

Perhaps you've figured it out by now... I'm going to New York!!!

I'll be going next month! I'll be there in the morning of the 11th, a little early just to have time to catch up with some dear friends and go to the museums that I've dreamt of seeing all these years. I'm also touring FIT because that's my dream school. Then, the fashion U is on the 13th -15th! I'm so excited!! I've even started thinking of what I'm going to wear. It's thrilling and amazing to me, this has been a dream of mine for ages now. Which brings me to my next point.

I started a GoFundMe HERE because this trip is actually way out of my budget and the only reason it's becoming a reality is because my lovely mom decided to help fund it. So my intent with the fundraiser is to make enough that I can pay her back the half that I can't pay. Well it's more than half, but there's no actual goal amount with the fundraiser. I mean I didn't think anyone would donate but as it turns out I have extremely supportive friends, so I mean anything counts. I'm just incredibly grateful, for all of this.
I'm amazed any of this is even happening to me.

Love always,

picture credit goes to Jonas Nilsson Lee.

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