Wednesday, April 8, 2015

we'll just go til the road ends

 "just hold tight to my hand, there's no need for any big plans, we'll just go til the road ends." - Holley Maher

I'm inconsistent, I knooow. I tend to have legitimate excuses though, or at least I try. You know. If you wanted to know where I've been the last four days, I was holed up in my room blaring indie love songs and making art, obsessively. I mean it all started on Saturday night, when I was sitting downstairs listening to music, loudly, and thinking, mostly about the lyrics in said music. I came across the line, "I don't wanna talk about it, I just wanna hold your hand" by Rhodes, in the song Your Soul. It just sounded so nonchalant and intense at the same time, which is the nice thing about the subtleties of loving someone. I'm not in love with anyone right now. In fact, I don't think I've ever quite been in love with anyone, but I do know that I've loved people before, so intensely. It's something comfortable and beautiful and also terrifying, but at the end of the day that's not love, that's something crazy, but it's not quite it. I don't think it's supposed to be terrifying. Whatever. I'm nineteen. I'm not supposed to be in love. I'm fine. That was all besides the point.

Can I tell you something funny? I don't know much about Taylor's life. I know a lot about her career, but even that I don't know completely. I know what her sense of humor is like, I know her cats' nicknames, I know who she has dated, I know she likes wearing outfits that consist only of black clothes sometimes, I know what she would say in most situations, but I don't know much else... and I didn't realize that until last year when this one weirdly plausible article was put out that nobody really talked about. It doesn't even matter though. Okay, so on a more related note, I know she's dating Calvin Harris. That's the sort of thing you can't hide if you're famous. I know he said he wanted to see her in 2012. I know they connected at the Brits Awards two months ago. I know they were first seen together hand-in-hand on a stroll by a lake. But I don't know what exactly is going through her mind, or what she thinks of it all. I mean, I can't just assume she's so in love cause I know it's not like that sometimes. I just don't know. God, I hope so. She's a more rational person now, though. We all are when we grow up and get hurt a little.

Anyway, the whole point is that I drew this very lovey dovey pictures of her and Calvin holding hands and it all sort of just came together, like things tend to do. There's a candid of them holding hands and I drew it and I was going to stop there and quickly write that Rhodes quote on the bottom, but then I was like WHY STOP THERE WHEN THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF SONGS WITH NICE LYRICS and then I stayed up til 2:30am googling and searching and listening to songs until my eyes hurt and my fingers were tired of typing and I felt like an insane person. And then I changed the whole composition of it. The lyrics went on the side instead, and in faux calligraphy but with pencil. And then I was like, why should the hands be freely floating? They need a frame, enter the floral border. It was going to be watercolor, but then I decided to opt for watered down acrylic because it's more pigmented and I love acrylic. My sister walked in halfway through and was all like, "you should make something like this for a real couple you know, so they can hang it up on their wall" and I'm like, "is it that lovey dovey?" I'm not crazy, I swear. I actually love it for it's cutesy nature. And it did take me three days, so it better be worthy of being hung up on a wall, even though it does in fact reside in my sketchbook. Isn't that dumb? I spent three days on a sketchbook piece. What is wrong with me.

But anyway, my friends thought it was cute, and I feel proud of it, so whatever. Let's let it be cutesy. Let's all just gush over the fact that at least someone's in love, somewhere. Which reminds me, one of these days I'm going to post the playlist I listened to when I was working on this. It's my favorite right now.

Have a flawless Wednesday!

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